...for the Forgetful

This Friday will have marked 6 months since I have left for Nairobi, Kenya. We were 8 students and 4 leaders unknown to the changes that would surround us when we arrived back in the States and the new life we were called to lead. We came home expecting to live life as our Kenyan friends did, embracing and inviting God into every aspect of our lives and celebrating Him in everything we did. Well, that turned out to be harder that expected.

Right when I arrived home, challenges were thrown at me at every angle. I had grown so much while in Africa that I had become so vulnerable to change and it took advantage of me and my newfound mindset. It saddened me how quickly I felt I lost everything I received while in Kenya and instead of embracing the changes, I let them pass by me, slowly returning to life before my missions trip.

Well, hardly 6 months later and I find myself grasping for the conversations I had while in Kenya. Craving the feelings I experienced and the unending love and support poured out daily. I came home expecting to be a different person, and I did. The problem is, I didn't act upon that change. The new person I became was lost in the shuffle of football games and poli-sci debates.

Well, hardly 6 months later and I find myself reminiscing whenever I see an inkling of Kenya.

From the shirt I wore the day we arrived, to the new kid at school who looks like Alan.

From the songs played on the long flights, to the photo memories on my sidebar on facebook.

Well, hardly 6 months later, I find myself forgetful of those 12 days spent living with God.

I felt defeated coming home, convincing myself that I would never feel that growth again.

Well, hardly 6 months later, no matter what I do, Kenya is always with me. That is all there is to it.

Why do I keep stressing over this experience I have lost when in reality, it stays with me wherever I go?

The beauty in an experience is the memories you take with it. I was trying so hard to recreate a once-in-a-lifetime trip that I let myself get lost in the shuffle. I didn't realize that the moment I stepped onto Africa's soil, I became the new me. I didn't realize that when I came home my lifestyle didn't have to change drastically with the push of a button, but that it changed through my actions. I came home with such high expectations that I let the lack of that self-made image control and repress the growth I had just recently made.

Friday marks 6 months since I arrived in Nairobi, Kenya.

Friday also marks the day that I decided I would no longer be lost in the shuffle.

For those of you who have led a life believing that experience is only that moment in time, I invite you to throw that preconceived notion away. I invite you to live through those memories in your actions and thoughts and to realize that there is always more to an experience than what you see.

What will you do? Join me in breaking free from the shuffle or remain closed off, hidden from the growth that lies ahead.