...for the Hopeless Romantic

Throughout my childhood I've put together a list of things that make me sad:

1. The fact that I was THAT KID who sold candy on the school bus

2. The fact that every Friday after school in middle school our moms would give us $5 to eat at Ruby's to help add to childhood obesity

3. Pipe dreams and colleges your parents went to

4. The fact that my mom used to buy white bread and cook for 4

5. And mostly, people who sit alone. Not because they want to, but because they are involuntarily alone.

For some reason, this last one really gets to me. It's interesting really- once you think about it. It's crazy how I can let one solitary person affect my whole day. But maybe that's why I let them affect me; because they are that one solitary person.

I was picking up dinner for my mom and sister earlier this evening and I noticed an elderly man sitting right across the room. He was rather thin and a little on the pale side, wearing white tube socks up to his calf with white nikes only an old man can pull off. Dressed in a pastel yellow polo, he sat quietly alone at a table set for one. His plate was filled with a little too much rice than I think he could handle, and as he set his fork down after eating his steamed vegetables and slid up from his seat to get a drink of water, a sad smile crept across my face. How can someone so cute be so alone?

This made me think. A man like this, with such a calm demeanor and proper table manners must have been married, which kills me. I started to tear up thinking about his life before today. Before I saw him and before he ever had to order dinner for one. It is so unfair that a man like him has to go through life alone. That after possibly loving someone for X amount of years, he gets to spend the rest of his years without that person; alone involuntarily from the person he once loved.

On the other hand, there is the kind of person you may run into who is alone, not because they have loved someone and they've long passed, but because they have never had the experience to fully love someone like you should be able to; friend or companion.

I walked into Yogurtland late tonight and glanced across the room to see if I happened to know anyone there. My gaze settled on a young man in his early-30's. He had just finish his cup of frozen yogurt and joined us in line for his second helping. Looking back I noticed his out-dated khaki shorts and Payless brand tennis shoes. As he tried repeatedly to pick up his fallen glob of yogurt, his shaggy hair making it difficult, I started to choke up once again.

There is something so profoundly innocent about someone being alone. About the fact of being involuntarily alone and living life possibly not knowing any different.

Now, I could be wrong in my assumptions. These men both could be happily married and choose not to wear their wedding rings. They could have a large group of friends and be meeting their family for a reunion the next day. But what if? What if I'm wrong? What about the select few who don't get to experience a loving companion or have a large group of friends to hang out with every night? I guess through all of this I'm saying that it's not fair.

Why do people have to be alone?

It's something I am always going to want to change, but no matter what we do or what lengths we take to see a noticeable change, there is never going to be a time where everyone feels fully together.