Saying goodbye sucks.So I usually avoid it.
Saying goodbye sucks and although I would love to avoid it, it's inevitable and sometimes I just have to pony up and do it.
It seems as though these past few weeks have been filled with nothing but goodbyes and quite frankly, I want a new change of pace. Going house to house, a picture frame or card in hand, readying myself mentally for all of the nostalgia we will go through, the memories we will reminisce about, and the holiday breaks we will be sure to visit each other on has become repetitive and robotic. Not to mention the weekly heytell or texting updates and frequented yet most likely dwindling Skype conversations that we plan out right before the final hug.
Last week my goodbyes were reserved for the long time friends I have grown up with all throughout high school and for some, even elementary school. Those have been some of the hardest, but the ones yet to come are going to be the worst: the best friends.
After a great going away party last night, the host of the night pointed out to me that he had to leave his best friends behind that day; that for him, that was the last night he could say goodbye.
And it hit me.
I didn't realize that I would ever have to really say goodbye to my best friends. Scattered all around California, I am lucky enough to say that my closest friends are in an inconveniently enough driving distance away from me, but for them, it's all the convenience I need. Then there's Maddy. 3,006 miles away from me in Providence, Rhode Island, I can't hop into my car whenever I feel like getting away for the weekend. No, she decided to intentionally place herself as far away from me as possible. Kudos to my other best friends, but for her, I have decided to hold a grudge.
Needless to say, saying goodbye to the people I know best is going to be a moment I am dreading to experience.
But then, camp happened.
Right when I thought I knew everyone I wanted to say goodbye to, I met a whole new set of 12 amazing people.
For those of you who have never experienced a church camp, being a leader for a retreat, or any other leadership experience involving bonding with strangers, you may not fully appreciate the impact that these short-term best friends make on your life.
Saying goodbye to best friends is probably the worst goodbye I will have to ever face, but saying goodbye to a group of people who just recently walked into your life and then so quickly walked out is a weird feeling.
I spent about 3 hours a week for 8 weeks straight with a group of strangers and then once camp hit, the 24 hour a day interactions turned these strangers into family.
We ate together, we woke up early and stayed up late together, we made fools of ourselves and observed as others did the same. We had deep conversations during our meal times and gossiped about the events of the night huddled around a small apartment table. Pranks were pulled, hats were worn, and shakas were thrown and all throughout these events, we bonded. We became a group of leaders rather than 13 leaders placed in one room.
We worked together and it was one of the greatest weeks we could have had.
But instead of going back home and picking up where we left off, reality set in and I realized that we don't have the opportunity to do that anymore. Our "camp high" would hit its low right when we departed to our respective cars.
That feeling, that goodbye, sucks.
Saying goodbye to someone when there is still so much time to say hello is weird. It didn't feel fair to me that these relationships were cut short before most of them could fully take flight.
I am excited for all of us. I am excited for the paths we will be taking at our new schools and for the whole new set of strangers we will meet and call our friends. As excited as I am, I didn't expect to be this taken back by how bummed I feel.
I know that if it's worth it, we will stay in touch.
I know that as time passes, it will get harder and harder to do just that.
I know that as weird as those goodbyes may have felt, I have a week full of memories to keep me stoked on those people.
Saying goodbye sucks.
But the people you are saying goodbye to make it totally worth it.
Thanks to my week-long ASB camp family
-let's not become too estranged, ya?
To those of us out there having to say our goodbyes: good friends, acquaintances, best friends and family, or even those people who just came to say hello,
Goodnight and Goodluck.
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