...for the Overachiever

From a very young age we have always been told "you can be whatever you want to be; life is your canvas, no one can paint it but you."

Well, some of us hear these things and start to join more extracurriculars: sports, arts, leadership, and in the end, all you've accomplished is a little bit of each.

How to throw a football, but not how to run a play.

How to shuffle-ball-change until your toes blister, but not how to dance on point. How to run a school, but not how to have a social life.

Soon, this word of advice becomes the sole reason your neatly wrapped up life has been pulled apart and unraveled like a ball of yarn.

One of the most profound statements I have ever heard, came from a leadership camp I recently attended. The speaker, Jill Esplin, simply told us to be fully present.

Be. Fully. Present. It was right then and there that everything in life was put into perspective. Three simple words carved out exactly how I wanted to be living my life. And as simple as it all seemed, it suddenly sparked this anxious fear in me that screamed "all you are is FAILURE."

Nothing I accomplished seemed right or important. I took a step back and looked into the life I created for myself. I tried so hard in high school to be friends with everybody and to always be that one girl that everyone knew. Approaching senior year I realized that this recognition I so badly craved was nothing but a wolf in sheep's clothing. Yes, I know a good amount of people, and yes I have different groups of friends, but at the end of the day, I'm isolated, wondering where I fit in once the mingling has worn out.

I've never really had a chance call myself apart of one group. I wanted to be everywhere, with everyone, all at the same time, and all I got from that was dropping by, saying hello, and moving on to my next location.

Being all that I wanted to be ruined me. I have to be the best, I have to succeed, I have to do this, and that, and know him, or her.

What is the price of that though?

What do you end up costing yourself in return for a few golden moments with a few people you were acquainted with?

The cost of your short-lived success varies for each person. I can't tell you what my neighbor down the street gave up, or even if she had to give up anything. But I can tell you this:

The price I tagged my success for, was losing relationships.

Family members and friends so easily became faint memories that were replaced by ASB meetings and play practice.

I walked into high school wanting to be that girl who could sit on a bench and know everyone that walked up to her.

I don't want to leave high school being that girl who sat on the bench alone, watching all of her acquaintances walk on by.

Be. Fully. Present.

Three words I plan on using to completely demolish the life I thought I so badly wanted.

What will you choose do to?

Be a guest in the lives of those who matter to you, or be fully present in whatever you choose.